Lemming Telefonseelsorge

Lemming Suicide Hotline

A little dark humor from Tom’s Jokes Collection.

Technorati: dark+humor suicide+hotline suicide

Shopping for PMS? Find it on eBay!

This one showed up in Google AdWords.

No thanks. I already have quite enough.

eBay PMS Google AdWords

Crazily is…

Great news! Two new bipolar t-shirts in the [tag]Manic Mall[/tag]. The first one, called “Crazily is…” is the [tag]Chinese[/tag] characters for [tag]bipolar disorder[/tag] cut-and-pasted from a [tag]medical[/tag] site in China. A back-translation on babelfish tells me that the Chinese have an interesting perception of us. Interesting as in the ancient Chinese curse, “May you live in interesting times.” Click the picture to see the shirt, “Crazily is [tag]hot-tempered[/tag] the depression!“

The second t-shirt should have been the first shirt, since I was researching it when I came across the translation above. It inspired me to create the Official Bipolar Planet® World Tour 2007 [tag]t-shirt[/tag].

Well, I was looking at an Israeli search engine that links to [tag]Pendulum[/tag] Resources and got curious. Is [tag]manic depression[/tag] a world-wide problem? Do some cultures accept “eccentric” behavior more than others do? How did they treat manic-depressives before lithium? I am very curious about it. A very quick trip to world-wide googles helped me find dozens of ways to say “[tag]bipolar disorder[/tag]” and “manic depression.” It really is a Bipolar Planet®.

Update 5/1:
Someone pointed out to me that I didn’t include the English words for bipolar disorder or manic-depression. Oops! I thought it went without saying that English-speaking countries are nuts.

TFTD: SchizoCon

Thought for the Day:

“Back in school I treated schizophrenics who were anywhere from clearly on-the-surface very different, but there were others with whom everything would seem normal until they began discussing the area of their reality that parted from everyone else’s. Sort of like talking to a neoconservative.”
– DocShiva, from an email. Quoted with permission.

Lithium Salts

Where there is sickness and fear, there is always someone offering false hope.

One of the shadier scams pulled on bipolars is the claim that certain lithium compounds are more beneficial than others.

This rant concerns lithium orotate.

Lithium Orotate is a salt. That means that when you put it in water, it ionizes, or splits into its component parts. In this case, it splits into lithium ions and the orotate is metabolized into orotic acid in the liver.

Your body uses elemental lithium at the cellular level. Your cells don’t care whether you ingested lithium carbonate, lithium chloride, or lithium orotate to get the lithium.

So what you really want to know is what the orotate part gets you. The answer seems to be a fatty liver. Your body makes all the orotic acid you need after you drink alcohol. Another way to get it is to ingest ammonia salts. Not recommended. If I’m reading this right, drinking piss will raise the level of orotic acid because excess uria also stimulates orotate production.

Now here’s where it gets interesting: There was a documentary on Mahatma Gandhi in which he stated that the reason for his good health was that he drank a cup of fresh urine, presumably his own, every morning. I think I read it in Time or Newsweek, too, but I’m at work and don’t feel like researching it. Here’s a wikipedia citation. Take it with a swig of^W^W a grain of salt.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Human_urine

Let me know how that works out for you.

Technorati: bipolar+disorder lithium lithium+orotate lithium+carbonate fatty+liver Mahatma+Gandhi urine

On wanting to be stable

I’m having a bit of trouble making non-technical things fit into my brain today.
I can understand wanting to be stable. No, not really, stable people are bloody boring. What I can understand is wanting to be able to do the things I want to do without having to cancel because of a bad day. A bad day
meaning I can’t concentrate, or I am indecisive, or I am tired or maybe on the flip side the normies are just moving/thinking/being like dinosaurs.
Let’s define stability sometime, ok? I think stability means that I don’t fall so far afield that I can’t meet my obligations. What do you think?
But are those really bad days? If we didn’t have it beaten into our heads that having moods swings and being creative makes us BAD PEOPLE, we wouldn’t think twice about making time for our own needs. Maybe on the indecisive days I should shelve books by LOC number, while I should make use of the high days time flipping through books trying to synthesize new meanings.
Why do the doctors want to label us and stigmatize us and force us to behave like everyone else? And why do we buy into this abuse? Oh, right, because being forced to be someone you aren’t is painful. When someone talks about “hope” in the context of having a mental illness, what exactly does that mean? There’s no cure for this short of identifying the bipolar gene and ABORTING us. If we are going to hope, let’s hope that someday society will stop wanting to punish anyone who is a little different.

Technorati: stability bipolar bipolar+disorder mental+illness mood+swings stigma

Search Terms du Jour

Ah, yes, server logs. These are my favorite searches today. I hope they found what they were looking for.

ice pick lobotomy
where can i find the plan of a pendulum

Technorati: lobotomy

Sewer Pipes

One day widder biddy Wussley is all so sad….
He sez:
“Nobody WUVs me enny more… I think I will just commit sewer pipes in a big nasty way and make my mommy all mad and everything!”

Google Groups : alt.ensign.wesley.die.die.die
Very old ST:TNG humor. I almost named this blog after it.
*spoiler* don’t go if you liked Ensign Wesley Crusher or if you dislike skull fragments.

Barking Mad

Barking Man Bites Mailman

Plumb said he bit the carrier as a joke, and has no history of criminal activity or mental illness, police said.

Pearls of Wisdom

I harvested this lunacy out of several old datebooks that I threw away last week. The books were from the ’80s and I was undxed and possibly self-medicating through most of them. Pointless.

• “Gay, straight or Mummer?”
• Drive the porcelain bus.
• Country club for the exceedingly timid.
• Missionaries & Cannibals. This is a bar game we used to play. The rules are simple, the solution isn’t, especially when you’re in Jay’s Elbow Room getting wasted.
• Selective psychotropic medication – helps you forget only the things you want to forget.
• Beef Croquet. I guess you play with meatballs and a tenderizing mallet?
• The best part about eating cockroaches is that when you’re done you can pick your teeth with the legs.
• Book: “Manifold Destiny: The One! The Only! Guide to Cooking on Your Car Engine!“- Works best on a V8.
• Living Color: “Time’s Up“
• Positive Case – “Night Shift” – this was the first urban/rap/whatever song I ever liked. I was on my way home from working second shift and it resonated with me. I wrote it down in case I wanted to buy the album sometime. Apparently I didn’t. It’s not listed on Amazon.com, maybe it was local?
• Haverford College Quaker Collection
  Swarthmore 1815-1872 -> Pine Pt., Shakamaxon???
  This is where the records from Newton Meeting in Gloucester County, NJ wound up. Sometime I will go over and research. I am descended from Simeon Ellis, who married Sarah Bates in 1694.
• Chris Issak – “Wicked Game” How maudlin! Don’t know why I wrote this one down.
• Steve Reich & Double Edge – “Early Works” – Electra/Asylum/Nonesuch. – the odd thing is that after I wrote this one down, I carried it forward through two more datebooks. I must have really really wanted it. Ok, so I’ll add it to my Amazon.com Wish List.
• Revolution – 1967 – I don’t think I was referring to the song by the Beatles.
• Snooks Eaglin
• “I’ve been trying to develop a lifestyle that doesn’t require my presence.” – G. Trudeau
• “Si Hoc Signum Legere Potes, Operis Boni In Rebus Latinis Alacribus Et Fructuosis Potiri Potes!” — If You Can Read This Sign, You Can Get A Good Job In The Fast-Paced, High-Paying World Of Latin!
• “Cum Catapultae Proscriptae, Erunt Tum Soli Proscripti Catapultus Habebunt” — When Catapults Are Outlawed, Only Outlaws Will Have Catapults.
• “What if the human race always thought about their dignity?” No sex?
• Isolated Insolence.
• Delusions of Adequacy.
• “Mishaps are like knives, they cut us or serve us depending on whether we grab them by the blade or the handle.” – K.K. Note: Did you say that to me c. 1984? Email me!
• Have a Coke and a struggle.
• Reality is for people who can’t handle drugs. I think I’ll update this one: Reality is for people who can’t handle psych meds.
• “A Guide to Rational Living” – Albert Ellis
• I’ve got PacMan fever – I wake up in the morning and eat myself.
• “I’ve given up on looking for Mr. Right or even Mr. Not-So-Bad. I’d settle for Mr. Tolerable.” — KK again.
• “Open your memory intake valves.” – Robin
• No Profanity/Profundity.
• No excuse for unwanted kids.
• POSSLQ: Persons Of Opposite Sex Sharing Living Quarters. – The U.S. Census Bureau
• Did the Lost Tribe of Israel turn gay and die out?
• “It’s a wave!!” “It’s a particle!” “No, it’s a wave!!”
• Recreational diseases?
• Notice – Due to the shortage of robots some of our workers are human and may react unpredictably if abused.
• Hanging out with my cynical friends making nasty cracks about people who have aspirations of becoming chairman of the board.
• Northern New Zealand Sheep and Computer Company.
• “Hairy-assed double-breasted He-Man.” You know, I think my grandmother said that.
• What do you give to someone whose life is so miserable that material possessions are no consolation?
  1. A gun
  2. A divorce
• I’ve done all the required readings – I just haven’t taken the labs yet.
• Reality is a glazed doughnut without a hole.
• “Old enough to know how, young enough to still use it.” – Robin
• The paranoid delusion has replaced the deus ex machina.
• “I had a 10 last night – 8 drinks and a 2!” – Harry
• Frijid Pink – “House of the Rising Sun”. They stole it from The Animals who stole it from Bob Dylan who stole it from Dave Van Ronk.
• Air Force Chicken: wings and landing gear.
• Ghetto briefcase.
• I’m bisexual – I have to buy it like everyone else.
• Ion Bombardment Tube. If you sit too close to the TV, does the ionic breeze blow your hair back?
• “One good thing about jerking off – you don’t have to look your best.” – Steven Tyler of Aerosmith in an interview c. 1982
• Red Red Wine – UB40 – Hmmm, I don’t even know who UB40 are.
• Sarah Hardy – The Woman That Never Evolved. Is this a book or am I slamming Sarah?
• “Love affair in the abstract.”
• Reason to get married – so you have someone to babysit the kids when you have a date?
• Borrowed time: From whom??

Technorati: self-medicating Mummer Newton+Meeting Gloucester+County Simeon+Ellis psych+meds POSSLQ paranoid+delusion deus+ex+machina