Talking freely about our problems.

As I replied to a previous email, a thought came to me.

We get ruined by being in therapy, we think we should have the freedom to talk to anybody about anything. It just doesn’t work that way.

This is part of the definition of a “boundary issue.” Some of the personality disorders come with seriously messed up boundaries due to the person deriving their self-image from the world around them. I think that, by encouraging us to find healing and self-esteem from therapy, the therapist generates a personality disorder in us.

Does anyone see this as unhealthy?

Nobody wants to lie down in the grave with you. So compartmentalize! If a friend gets uncomfortable when you talk about mental illness, *don’t talk to him about it.* Do the things that you enjoy doing together, and leave it at that. It can be pretty traumatic listening to other people’s troubles. Believe it or not, even shrinks and therapists can be traumatized.

Bipolar kids freak out when you try to set boundaries, and everyone says they’ll outgrow it and change over to the adult form of the disorder. Yet as adult bipolars, we *still* get all huffy if someone tries to set boundaries. When a friend tells you, “can we please not talk about this?” you have to respect their boundaries. Or lose them. This is a simple truth.

Respect your SO, your family and your friends, too.

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